What Makes a Writer?

Over in Writer-ville, there's a lot of posturing and "real" writers versus "wannabees" ego trips. It makes me sad. The kind of sad that makes me bake huge chocolate cakes and eat fettuccine alfredo. So sad that hurts my heart. Not because *I* feel like I am not a real writer, but because NO ONE should feel like they're not a real writer.

Anyone who writes simply because they enjoy the process is a writer. I see the most terrible "guidelines" for what makes a "real writer" thrown about. Proclamations like, "If you you have to write every day or you'll absolutely DIE, then you're a REAL writer." Or, even better, "A REAL writer cranks out a minimum of eight meeeeeellion words a day." And my very favorite, "If you only write XYZ, then you're not a REAL writer."

I write romance. In fact, it can possibly be classified as erotic romance, depending on your definition. I also write completely non-sex related articles as a journalist (okay, sometimes they're about sex, too). I ALSO write a weekly blog about sex. Okay, we've established I write about sex quite a bit. Anyway, that's not my point. My point is, even if you only read high concept literary fiction and you think romance is utter crap, it doesn't not negate the truth: I'm a writer. If you don't believe me, then my publishing contract and various paychecks for my writing kind of solidify the fact.

I cannot write every day. Caring for my family is my first priority. When that takes up the majority of my time, writing takes a back seat. Do I miss it? Of course! Do I wish hadn't fallen asleep at 8:30 last night and instead has spend an hour writing my new book? Absolutely. Does this personal striving for balance (and sleep) mean I'm not a real writer. No Way.

So, I challenge you, my friends, to stop investing in the writer-wars (which are like the mommy-wars, but with more paper). Let's celebrate each other; our successes and our failures, the bumps in the road and the shining star moments, our struggles and our achievements, no matter how big or small. Let's be writers and leave it at that, because, honestly, being a writer is hard enough all on it's own.

Who's got a cloning device?

I have been the worst of the worst, terrible, totally MIA bloggers in the history of blogging. Well, except that chick that secured "the best blog name ever" and only blogged one day in 2009, screwing the rest of us out of that awesomeness. Anyway, to my followers and my friends, I apologize. Anyone else can bite it.

As you know, I'm having a blast writing The Bombshell Mommy for Vitacost.com. If you haven't read the blog, it's fun and informative. I never dreamed I'd get the opportunity to write about an issue that is dear to my heart in a national forum. I also never imagined I'd own quite so many sex toys. It's win-win.
If you haven't "liked" the Facebook page yet, please take a moment to do so. I promise not to spam your newsfeed. We had a chat on Facebook last week and it was a great time. I hope more of you can stop by and say "Hi" next time.

Additionally, I'm still taking freelance projects. Therefore, I'm still writing for magazines and have a big, huge, daunting project that is totally kicking my ass. I will be scarce until June, at the earliest, as I wrestle this project into submission.

I'm eager to get the project finalized because, my friends, I have a new WIP planned that I know you will love. A contemporary erotic romance. I know, I know, contemp isn't my thing, but this story will not be without its dark and derelict elements, I promise. I am ridiculous excited to get this book written. So, let's all say a prayer or meditate or sacrifice a goat or whatever we need to do so that the freelance project flows smoothly and quickly.

Of course all of this comes secondary to my kids. They have to be feed and clothed and bathed and what ever else they are demanding at that moment. They're like little dictators with loose teeth.

Truth be told, my house is generally in shambles. There are constantly dirty dishes and the laundry is going to grow legs and put itself in the washing machine soon. I can't do it all, so the housekeeping is what gets left behind.

Therefore, if anyone has a cloning device, help a girl out! I could use at least one more of me, maybe two. Three would be a bit much, though, don't you agree?

Author Spotlight: Tiffany Reisz

Today, I have an interview with the amazing Tiffany Reizs for you. We are celebrating the digital release of her book The Siren (in paperback July 2012). Trust me, you do not want to miss this one. This is BDSM done right and done well. Besides being extremely talented, she's also really cool, so don't sleep on this one! Don't worry, I've provided links to get your dirty little self a copy of this delicious book at the end of the interview.

***************************************************************************

With a reputation almost as wild as the truth about her, Nora Sutherlin is the most infamous writer in New York.

With black hair, ice blue eyes, and a British accent, Zachary Easton is the sexiest editor in all of publishing…and the stuffiest.

And now they have to work together.

This might not be a good idea…

What was the first romance novel you read? How did that book influence your future as a writer?

I not only remember the first romance novel I ever read, I still have a copy of it. It’s THE SHIEK’S REVENGE by Emma Darcy, a Harlequin Presents. I read and re-read it. The opening scene involves the hot sheik discussing a sexy painting with the heroine. Later I would steal this idea for THE SIREN.

When or how did you decide to write erotica? Did you or do you plan to write in any another genre?

I’m not a huge fan of genre labels. They tend to fence in a writer. But there’s something about the word “erotica” that stirs the blood. It’s the most ancient genre and the most infamous. I love sex and find it fascinating so it’s only natural that’s the genre I gravitated too. I have another book in the works that would be urban fantasy but urban fantasy with my trademark goofiness and eroticism.

We all have pitfalls in our writing process. What is yours and how do you combat it or work around it?

Twitter is an addiction. I’m a social butterfly online. I love to talk and interact with all my cool online friends so it’s hard for me to tear myself away to get real writing done. But then I remember 90% of my followers are following me because of my writing. I don’t want to let them down so I get back to the typing. Sigh…

You’re known for being very open about that fact that you enjoy BDSM. I know many ER authors who shy away from being overtly sexual because they fear how they will be viewed given their profession. As a person who also lives a good portion of her sex life publicly (writing The Bombshell Mommy), I’m intrigued that you decided to cross into the territory of full disclosure. What was it that made you take the leap and “tell all”?

I don’t know where my openness came from. I’ve just never been shy about my personal life. I suppose I don’t think my personal life is interesting enough to keep a secret. To me, being into BDSM is like being gay. It’s simply me. How could I hide that? It breaks my heart that so many women writers feel like they have to hide behind pen names. We’re just perpetuating the cycle of shame and embarrassment. Liking sex should be as neutral as enjoying food. It’s natural, it’s healthy, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. There’s nothing wrong with keeping your private life private or writing under a pen name. But there is something wrong when women writers feel like they have to.

Given the success of Fifty Shades of Grey, what are your thoughts on so-called “BDSM-lite” hitting mainstream American readers?

One person’s BDSM-lite is another person’s hardcore. I’m always happy when any book gets non-readers reading and starts intelligent discourse about formerly taboo subjects. If people now feel safe to read BDSM erotica, that can only help a dirty little writer like me.


Quick Three:
Favorite book: The Keep by Jennifer Egan
Favorite drink: A spiked Shirley Temple
Favorite article of clothing: My Batman shirt as my boyfriend likes it so much. Good memories.

Tiffany Reisz lives in Lexington, Kentucky with her boyfriend (a reformed book reviewer) and two cats (one good, one evil). She graduated with a B.A. in English from Centre College in Danville, Kentucky and is making both her parents and her professors proud by writing BDSM erotica under her real name. She has five piercings, one tattoo, and has been arrested twice. 

When not under arrest, Tiffany enjoys Latin Dance, Latin Men, and Latin Verbs. She dropped out of a conservative southern seminary in order to pursue her dream of becoming a smut peddler. Johnny Depp’s aunt was her fourth grade teacher. Her first full-length novel THE SIREN was inspired by a desire to tie up actor Jason Isaacs (on paper). She hopes someday life will imitate art (in bed). 
If she couldn’t write, she would die.

******************************************************************************************

A huge thank you to Tiffany Reisz for taking time to be interviewed. For more on Reisz and her books, visit her website or follow her on twitter @tiffanyreisz

Read THE SIREN May 1st on your NOOK or KINDLE.

The Bombshell Mommy

Guess WHAT? Many of you already know this, but here's my official blog announcement.

I AM THE BOMBSHELL MOMMY!

I'm writing as The Bombshell Mommy exclusively for Vitacost. The entire focus is to encourage women to embrace their sexuality and sexual health in the face of the drudgery of every day life as moms, wives, and all around Superwoman duties.

See that click-through badge on the side of this blog? Hop over there any time. I'd love for you to visit. No writing talk, just fun, flirty, and fascinating discussions of why every woman is a Bombshell at heart.

I don't get political here, you know this, but I want you all to understand that in a time where women are being shoved back into the kitchen, being pushed into second class citizenry, being slut-shamed, our bodies continually commodified and treated as community property, it is of dire importance that we embrace our sexuality.

When you own your sexuality, you have the courage to stand up for yourself. You have the courage to tell that guy off when he puts his hands on your body without invitation. You have the strength to report when someone assaults you. You are empowered by knowledge you have of your body and how it works. Your children benefit from the freedom to ask you questions and your ability to answer them with confidence and compassion. You have the deep seeded knowledge that your body and your sexuality is not to be judged or defined by anyone else. It is YOURS and no one is entitled to your body simply because you are a woman.

It's time to stop living the conundrum of the Madonna/Whore syndrome. We CAN be mothers and  sexual beings, simultaneously. We CAN enjoy sex without being "easy", "loose", or "immoral". We CAN be women, with our lovely curves, our beautiful minds, our emotionally overflowing hearts, and our iron clad spines, while still enjoying the desires of the flesh.

Enough of the serious.

It's a crazy fun time over there. Light hearted and sexy, cheeky and sensual. Bombshell's of the world, UNITE!