Friday, March 22, 2013

Sex Toys and Erotic Romance: A match made in heaven

Hi friends, today I've got a guest post for you from Adam & Eve that says everything  I think and more about the pairing of erotic romance and sex toys.  Since my alter ego isn't covering these topics anymore, we're going to have a great time with them here instead. Read and enjoy, I bet you'll find some fun tips! 


Reading erotic novels is a great way to relax and pass the time, but did you know they also help put you in touch with your sexuality, open you up to new role playing ideas, fetishes, dirty talk and even new toys? It's true! Erotic novels can change your sex life entirely if you use them to their full potential.  While erotic novels can do a lot, I want to focus on how romance novels can open you up to different sex toys.

You can frequently find some of your favorite characters using certain toys with their sexy counterparts, whether it be sex props like rope and blindfolds or even vibrators or anal toys.  Are you currently incorporating sex toys into your bedroom play? No? You definitely should. Using sex toys with yourself or with your partner is a really great way to change things up in the bedroom and a great way to get to know yourself better.  Use a little inspiration from your book and surprise your partner this weekend. Don't know what to get? Don't worry I've got you covered whether you want to use them with your partner or even with yourself.

If you're experimenting with partner, consider getting a few of these toys:

Cock Ring:
A cock ring is a little addition that can make a big difference. A cock ring is worn around shaft and when turned on, can vibrator both you and your partner to orgasm. They are typically made of stretchy silicone and have a vibrating bullet that sits on the top side of the penis. Cock rings are also great for making erections harder and can help the wearer last longer. A cock ring is a great way to introduce sex toys without involving a major toy.

Bondage Kit:
Does your favorite erotic romance involve a little BDSM? If so, recreate some of the scenes with your very own bondage kit. You can pick up separate pieces like a blindfold, hand cuffs, under the bed restraints and a whip or you can buy a prepackaged bondage kit that will most likely contain all of these items along with a few other items. You can find some great beginner's kits and full on extensive kits at Adam and Eve. Find one that matches your needs.

Sex Furniture:
Sex furniture is a piece of furniture designed specifically to have sex on. It have certain curves or edges that help bend you or your partner's body in different postions that wouldn't usually be comfortable on a bed.  These positions are generally designed to allow the woman to achieve direct g-spot stimulation.  A piece of sex furniture can inspire you to be a little more creative and push you to try new things.

Need a toy for a little selfish loving? Check out a few of these tempting toys-- all of which are great for solo and partner play.

A vibrator is the easiest go to toy, which is probably why it's the best selling sex toy on the market today. Vibrators can come with or without a clitoral stimulator, but I personally recommend getting a vibrator with one that way you have options. Thanks to Sex and the City, the Rabbit vibrator has been the most popular model for the past 14 years.

G Spot Vibrator:
Very similar to the vibrator, a g spot vibrator will help you achieve those ever elusive g spot orgasms. Designed specifically target your g spot, the g spot vibrator is the toy for a woman who knows what she wants. You can also find these with or without clitoral stimulator and just like above, I recommend you get one that has one. These are also a great toy to get if you have never achieved a g spot orgasm or want to learn how to squirt.

Glass Dildo:
A giass dildo is a great option for anyone who likes pleasure and beauty.  Glass dildos are a great choice among the dildo toy family because they are not only beautifully hand blown, but also non-porous, meaning they hold lube well. Glass is also sensitive to temperature, so you can heat up or cool down a toy depending on what you're into.  

Already got your own box of fun? What toy do you whip out when you're getting into a good book?

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

On how our attempts to be "sex positive" have perpetuated rape culture


I write about sex in various ways and in various areanas. Sometimes gratuitously and sometimes all fluffy and romantic-like. I'm "sex positive". I don't think we should be secretive about it and I don't think we should be ostriches about it. Sex is healthy, sex is wonderful, and sex is fun.

Yet, somehow, this whole sexual revolution and goal of taking the taboo out of sex has only made women MORE vulnerable. We swung too far in the other direction. Women got the message that it was not their job not to be prim and proper anymore but to be a walking sexual fantasy and men somehow missed the memo that acknowledging women-as-sexual-beings does NOT mean that's ALL we are. 


How is it that men feel burdened by the fact that they could be accused of rape? Cry me a fucking river.  Try living your every day in a culture that tells you if you're raped it's because YOU didn't protect yourself.

Women live on edge constantly. Is it safe to be in the stairwell at work with the guy from accounting? It's your third date with this new guy; will he be expecting sex and if so, how far will he go to meet that expectation? Can you even allow him to pick you up and drive you home or should you take your own car? Does your guy friend from physics class really want to walk you home after lab to make sure your safe or is he the one that's dangerous? Don't go places alone. Don't wear short skirts. Don't flirt too much. Don't. Don't. Don't.

We grow up being taught all of the ways to not get raped. And with this education comes the underlying message that it's the victims fault. So deeply ingrained is that message that you have women blaming other women for the very violence they fear.

It's her fault. She deserved it. She was asking for it. She should have fought harder. She should have known better.

And BY THE WAY, how is a passed out unconscious woman sexually arousing? What are we teaching our boys that makes them react in arousal? How are they not repulsed by the very idea of violating someone? What's more frightening is that goddamnit it's the woman's fault. Wouldn't it be awesome if women could go to parties, wear flattering clothes, and oh, I dunno, WALK DOWN THE STREET without worrying about being violated?

Where is the education for men on how not to rape? We are still teaching our men that when a woman says "no" she's being coy. That if a woman is sexually aroused she "wants it"  (thanks Fifty Shades of Grey for perpetuating that one). That if a woman is unsure, that's a man's cue to TALK HER INTO IT. And if she's ever ever ever had sex before, she definitely wants it from you, because if she wants one cock, she wants them all, right? (Please note my sarcasm).

And what's worse is the very industry I work in perpetuates these fallacies in the majority of the books published. Women are still revered as virgins and shamed when they're not. They can only have sex with ONE man, regardless of how many women he has sex with. And so on and so forth. Who writes the books? Predominantly women. And that right there is proof of how brainwashed we really are by rape culture.

I grew up around adolescents who were prime examples of this. I went to high school somewhere that was frighteningly like Stubenville without the awesome football team. Small town, upper middle class, and fiercely protective of their popular kids. Rape culture was prominent. I feel like I lived through a bad Lifetime movie. But I survived, as many of us do. Then again surviving is not living.

I'm tired of it, my friends. I'm tired of bearing the weight of men refusing to take responsibility for their actions and refusing to elevate to a higher emotional state (one that consists of more empathy and less self serving bullshit). I'm tired of living in fear. I'm tired of worrying how I will protect my daughters. I'm tired of being angry and I'm tired of being a woman.

Monday, March 18, 2013

And so the tide changes...

If you're a fan of my Bombshell Mommy blog, you may have noticed recently we've turned more toward whole-life health. Although the days of YouTube videos of sex toys are behind Bombshell, she's still alive and kicking. I hope that some of you are finding my discussions of relationships, taking care of yourself and your body, and the challenges of being a mom interesting and informative.

Now, that being said, don't get confused, I'll still be as dirty as ever as Annabelle! Melted Tears will bring you all of the decadent love scenes you are looking for as well as action and adventure. I'm keeping up my momentum, dragging you through the torture of heated love affairs that were never meant to be and the dangerous longing of unrequited love. If you haven't read Endless Burn, the free short here on the blog, what are you waiting for? Lydia and Josh are just a click away. And keep your eye out for Free Reads coming from Inkspell Publishing, as I'm hoping to share a little Cressie and Beckett goodness with you all there!

On another note, I'm tantalizingly close to 100 likes  ( I seriously need about 5 likes) on the Annabelle Blume Facebook page. So, here's the deal, my friends. If you "share" a post from my Annabelle Blume page or just share my page in general on your Facebook timeline, you'll be entered** to win a Frozen Heart prize pack which includes a signed print copy of Frozen Heart, 4 signed bookmarks, and 2 fridge magnets. If you already have the book, share my page anyway and if you win I'll customize the prize pack just for you! Let's get this momentum going and make the release of Melted Tears put Frozen Heart's release to shame!

** will be used to choose the winner. No favoritism here.

Friday, March 15, 2013

Cover Reveal: Need by Stephanie Lawton

I loved Want. I mean LOVED IT. It was ahead of its time, a New Adult book before NA had really taken ahold of the literary world. If you haven't read it yet, get your act together and grab a copy, okay, because the follow up, Need, is coming May 17th and you have to BE PREPARED!

Need is an ADULT ROMANCE, so don't get it twisted, my friends.

Need is much hotter and much more intriguing, as we get a look at life from Issac's point of view.

Isaac Laroche is cursed. All he wants to do is hide out and feel sorry for himself. Never mind that he got caught sleeping with his seventeen-year-old piano student, or that he abandoned her when the truth was exposed.
Isaac’s feisty high school sweetheart has different plans. Heather Swann has returned to their hometown of Mobile, Alabama, to regroup after breaking up with her troll of a fiancĂ©. She’s restless and looking for a diversion, but she bites off more than she can chew when she sets her sights on rehabilitating Isaac with her unorthodox sexual, mental, and physical plans.
The two quickly reconnect, but their happiness is threatened by family secrets, old vendettas and the death of a beloved father-figure.
Can Heather handle Isaac’s baggage, or will her own come back to haunt them both?

Now, I don't think I need to tell you how incredible these covers are. And as for the guy on the Need cover...I'll just keep my thoughts to myself so you don't get all TMI'd out, mmkay? In fact, I'm just going to stop looking at it now.  It's too much for me. 

After collecting a couple English degrees in the Midwest, Stephanie Lawton suddenly awoke in the deepest reaches of the Deep South. Culture shock inspired her to write about Mobile, Alabama, her adopted city, and all the ways Southern culture, history and attitudes seduce the unsuspecting.
A lover of all things gothic, she can often be spotted photographing old cemeteries, historic buildings and, ironically, the beautiful beaches of the Gulf Coast. She also has a tendency to psychoanalyze people, which comes in handy when creating character profiles.

Thursday, March 14, 2013

In the mix

Hey Friends! Are you still speaking to me? I know, I've been terrible at blogging, but if you miss my voice, you can always visit me over at The Bombshell Mommy and see what I'm up to. Things have been moving along wonderfully here. Melted Tears, Book 2 in the Outlier Chronicles, is in edits and I'm waiting with bated breath to see the cover.

I recently did an interview about the series with Sizzling Hot Books which will be coming later this month. There's a giveaway including a signed copy of Frozen Heart, book marks, and fridge magnets -  so don't miss it!

I know I owe you some book porn bloggy time, so I'm going to collect some of the most recent books I've read and give you one big bang for your buck.

Lots of fun stuff ahead. Thanks for sticking around, my friends!