Monday, September 19, 2011

When I grow up...

When I grow up I want to say I'm a writer. I know, I can technically say it now because I am paid for writing in a professional capacity, but I want to say it in that "I know what I'm doing" kind of way.

I want to know what I'm doing and I want to be good at it. I mean, really good. The kind of good that makes people sob uncontrollably or laugh uproariously while they read my words. The kind of good that makes people say to their best friend, their neighbor, and their mechanic, "You have to read this."

My problem is, the more I worry about being good the less I write. It's tough to find balance. To know enough and yet not be burdened by all that you know. That's what a real writer can do. They can find that balance. I focus on too many imperfections and lose my mojo in my attempts to eradicate them from my writing.

This week alone I've been completely crippled by the word "was". It is such a crutch! A stupid little word that prevents me from writing the beautiful words that could, and should, take it's place.

I fight the urge to edit every single page I write, while I am writing it, and swear to myself I will save it for the word-building and editing phase. Again, this is where balance is paramount to success. If I get bogged down in editing as I go, the story will never advance and actually may never even be told. I really want to tell these stories because I know what I want to be when I grow up and I can't be a writer if the words never make it on the page.

So, do you know what you want to be when you grow up? Have any words of wisdom for me?

This week I'm reading "Alison Wonderland" by Helen Smith. It's, like, a grown up book. I know, I'm as shocked as you are! I'm sorry, I've failed lately at updating you all on what I'm reading, but I've been burning through books at two or three a week!

1 comment:

  1. I don't want to grow up. I pass. ;-)
    I don't think I'm ever going to know what I'm doing. I've come to believe that every adult I've ever met was faking it. All you can do it do your best, love yourself, stay open to new ideas and always be looking to learn new things. I think you know all that stuff already!

    And let your editors do the editing. All that pressure is gonna cramp your creative flow!!!

    Love ya!!